Certain experiences are ingrained into my memory. Some of which, when recollected, immediately catapult my senses back to the details that embodied the daily routine of what I recognize now, to have been purely survival for years and years. The jet ride to Vegas, was my breaking point. Boarding the all too small Embraer 145 Jet (known as a puddle jumper, to my husband) in departure to Las Vegas, encompassed a profound few minutes that led directly to my personal example of Oprah’s infamous “light bulb moment” and struck me into a new realm of awareness that would impact my life forever. As I ventured through the narrow aisle, nothing but heart palpitating anxiety weighed down each sideways step I took like cumbersome chains wrapped around my ankles. I could hear murmurs as I carefully maneuvered myself steadily, as to not brush into anyone during my endeavor. Once I arrived at my row, I held my breath and with little grace, sat down. I felt my butt swallow my seat as I spilled over into my husband’s space. I glanced towards him, wondering if he could fathom the war that had just taken place inside of my mind during the last fifteen seconds. I wondered if anyone on the plane, for that matter, could see the utter panic that saturated my being or hear the inner monologue of self doubt ridden mantras that I had become so comfortable repeating at this phase of my life. As I felt my cheeks turn hot, I shifted my weight beneath me, I grabbed onto the safety belt with shaky hands, hoping with every ounce of my being, that the damn thing would fasten around me and save me from requesting a belt extender, deploring any amount of confidence I had left. It clicked... barely, but it clicked. My shoulders dropped. One last breath of sighing relief exited my lungs. As I sat, exhausted, I felt everything inside of me shatter from the come down. In this moment, I knew I had two choices; leave the pieces to join the rest of the shambles my life had compiled into, or use the demolition to begin to build something new. I closed my eyes and silently relinquished all control with grave understanding that change was the only way out of the ‘one woman hell’ I endured every single day. Squished on this puddle jumper and for the very first time, I waved a white flag of decision; I turned towards a life of fulfillment and rebelled against one of fear. ”