Respect to The War of Art

After reading The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (of which I HIGHLY recommend to any and all creators) wisdom that, I had no prior words for came flooding over me like a rainstorm bestowed upon a dry desert. Pressfield examines Resistance; anything that prevents us from sitting down and doing our work, our craft. Resistance is “invisible, internal, insidious, impersonal, universal and fueled by fear.” It is felt and not seen, depicted in the people around us, manifested in procrastination, sex and victim-hood. Anyone who has ever felt unsatisfied, unhappiness or grave boredom in life has experienced Resistance due to an unwillingness to follow our truth of work for whatever the reason may be of that day. The book continues to divulge into the self proclaimed and life altering obstacles we all encounter and continues to decipher what distinguishes an ‘amateur’ from a ‘professional’ of any particular field. All in all, this book is pure gold and a swift kick in the ass that sheds blinding light on the real reasons why we Resist working on our thing.

What I have concluded by means of the beautiful catalyst that was The War of Art, is that for the majority of my life I have succumb to Resistance and overcoming its power will be a daily journey, to which I fully accept the endeavor of. As I sit in Hoboken’s little piece of coffee shop magic that is Bwe on Washington (thank you, Andy) my fingers dance across the keyboard with newfound realization in the simplicity of creation, so to speak; just sit down and create. I have, for the past 26 years, been an artist as I believe that I (and those alike) entered this world with creativity in some capacity spinning like disco balls around our inner workings that would later become more understandable. I have only magnetized toward the personal truth of Writing living as my particular craft within the past 10 or so years but I have always been an artist nonetheless. It runs through my blood as an intangible itch of needing to express myself, as most others in the sphere can resonate with.

When I first stepped into Writing and discovered my truth within it, I fumbled around for a few years attempting to uncover and develop the components of our relationship. As an umbrella concept, details aside, I identify as a Writer merely because of my loyalty to the craft. I am not such because I drink black coffee, or wear dark colored turtlenecks. I am not a writer because I prefer solitude over crowded bars, or marvel in the depth of Indie flicks and feel lustful shivers when certain words roll off tongues. I am not a writer because I enjoy a lipstick lined cigarette every now and again, or lock myself away from the World to indulge in fantasies; all of the cliche norms one can muster.

I am a writer because I sit down, I write and when I do … there is a magnificent force of lightheartedness that I feel (which I have now identified as overcoming Resistance) that indubitably fuels the energy to my life. When I allow the slithering snake of Resistance to win, I become bothered, irritable and unfocused. These things commonly manifest in my life as jealousy, cravings for sweets, picking apart my imperfections, impulsive cell-phone use and developing a quick fuse towards those around me with the only true healer to be clear to me, at this point; I am my whole self when I live my truth. I am the best friend, girlfriend, daughter and leader when I remain connected and consistent to my work so dammit, Pressfield, work I will!

*reference, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield*

i'm changing

Change has multiple components. Four, if you will.

First, you’ll begin to feel a need for it; you’ll feel off balanced. You’ll develop resistance towards what may have been an ‘everyday’ occurrence that has reaped normalcy in the past but at this moment feels unshakably troublesome. You’ll become short tempered, not necessarily in an outward manner but internally with your own thoughts… you’ll quicken your silent mental pivots in search of comfort. You may find yourself seeking stimulation elsewhere or more so than before - these experiences while happening together and more frequent, will feel like developing the flu… slowly and then all at once. The necessity of change rears its head into the spotlight once a situation, environment, job or relationship no longer rides cohesively down the journey your life is continuing upon. Perhaps things are about to take a sharp left, something radical is around the corner, or a learning is being digested and growth is taking place. Whatever the cause may be, recognizing the need for change will be an undeniable aspect of the equation… as long as we are aware.

Once the need is recognized, reorganization begins to hold captive most of the mental energy you have. The solution or details might not be present at first, so you’ll sit on the notion that change is necessary but with no further understanding yet. Now, you must dig within.

• Your work… do you love your work? Is a new job on the horizon; one more fulfilling, one more authentic to your passions?

• Is it a lack of growth, of progression … is a promotion what’s next? Have you been feeling stifled or stagnant with no sight of expanding? Are you burdened financially?

• What about outside of work … are your habits what need changing? Are you active?

• Do you feel personal excitement to have dwindled? What colors your space?

• What about time? Do you desire to gain more control over time?

• Your relationships … are they needing adjusting, are you unhappy? Is there lack of communication… has the love gone? Have you lost your sense of self?

Be mindful of the head spinning repercussion of delving into this dig and trust that it will dissipate and truth will unveil. The decision making, the second component of change, is where heat will begin to kick in and the message of inviting the chaos begins to take center stage. Here is where we must push through our emotional discomfort and truly listen to what our core is telling us. Lean into the uneasiness. Where exactly is the change needed? Often, we scramble to come up with a well structured plan that may sound fitting on paper but does not represent the truth of this entire process; a plan that could be a quick fix, but will not resolve anything long term. This is where we must quiet our thoughts; let go of what society has trained us to believe to be the ‘next’ move for our age, our culture, our history… let go of peer influence, family advice and of the pressure media has constricted upon you and just listen.

• What do you want to see happen?

• What behavior or component is missing that would make you feel whole, satisfied, or overjoyed to develop routine in?

• What do you desire?

Once this stage has passed and your move is clear, an action must follow as the next component. The third.

This is where equilibrium begins to shift and dismantling must happen in order to progress; ‘destroy and build,’ I’ve heard it phrased. Demolishing a way of thinking, a habit, routine, or lifestyle pattern in order to make room for something different could throws one’s entire life out of order for a period of time. This can feel overwhelming, or unsettling and here is where the importance of mindset comes into crucial play and a love for the continued presence of chaos must take shape. Focus on what you are gaining from the change, not what you are losing.

Remember why you began. Remain fully engaged with your deserving of richness in every single component of your life and remember that you are strong enough to welcome the destruction that comes while evoking a little re-order. Pay mind to the big-picture and to the long term aftermath of undergoing discomfort. Delay the gratification with trust. Adjustments are not always smooth transitions. Waters become murky, our speech will stutter and we will move against the current to head in a new direction; push harder than the current. The people we see everyday may differ. The route we have mastered will veer opposite. Our cognitive functions will kick into high gear as we learn, grow and evolve to our new surroundings - and this is miraculous.

Adaption, is a beautiful capability of humans and the final, the fourth component of change - not always the easiest but one worth struggling for. Become comfortable with the new. Ease into it. Value it’s presence. Respect what has occurred, to get here.

Recognize. Decide. Act. Adapt.

As always, ample gratitude for your presence

-K

Cheers, 2018

I’ve never been an advocate for New Year’s resolutions. I find the trendy notion of a “New Year, New Me” merely a gimmick and quite frankly, a gourmet dish nourishing the procrastination of beneficial behavioral modifications until the subscription and membership induced tradition deems it the ‘right time’ for such changes. The intention behind the actions agrees with me however, as I resonate deeply with purposeful improvement. It’s the imposed start and stop timeline that is something I hope most do not fully adhere to but rather see the crucial nature of reflection during all moments of our lives.

Appeared cynicism aside, I have always been in an eternal state of speculation; avidly analyzing the details of events or actions while determining what has worked well and/or not so well in order to propel a more substantial outcome for similar circumstances in the future. I drink the self help cool-aid, find myself indubitably drawn to understanding habit formation/cessation and often dive into the pools of recorded social experiments that evaluate human behavior to better enhance ones capabilities in various facets of life. Searching for reasoning amidst murky water brings me great joy and I find comfort turning attention to the Universal stars to uncover teachings that require sifting through. With that said, I have compiled a few monumental learning’s and realizations that have come to my attention from a multitude of experiences and through a plethora of sources. What I have accumulated below has been pulled from my head, my heart and read from scribbled on napkins I have hoarded over the length of 2018. I feel these reminders to be worthy of staying in my own pockets for the months to come and I hope they provoke a little something for you as well. Although I strive to remain aware of these aha moments during a continuous thread of time, I do understand how satisfyingly organized gathering bits of wisdom in list formation feels, so, here’s to paying homage to the past with a respectful solute to yet another fresh start. What I have learned this year is detailed but not limited to the following (in no particular order of importance, I might add.)

Get in the car and go.  (Unless it’s the Winter … then warm it up first & then go.)

You must be in love with the work.  

The truth is never the wrong move.  

Answer the phone.  That’s right, Millennial’s. I said it.

Be mindful of energy expenditure; use it well, use it wisely, preserve it when necessary & form habits that increase it.  

Running will only make the problem bigger, as will ignoring it.  

More is not always the answer. 

Splurge on what separates you from the ground; invest in & care well for your mattress and shoes.  

Opinions will grow as you do; understand your own but remain open to opposing views.  

If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it; spend less than you make, save more than you spend & manage your money to work for you. Figure out what this means and learn about it.

People matter; prioritize people.  

Fear must not be confused with danger as fear, merely exists within the mind.  

Mothers & Fathers are individuals. Be patient when they slip.  

Sometimes, waiting is best. Sometimes, waiting is not best. 

Your passion is there… uncover it, pursue it, become it.

Allow nothing to stop you from achieving exactly what you want.

If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.

If you believe in it, fight for it.  

Protect your peace.  

Let it go.

Listen.  

Life is in a constant state of motion. Find time between the chaos to remember why you are here and who you are here for. Take a step back and regain a vision for the big picture. Practice patience. Respect down-time. Stay centered.

As always, ample gratitude for your presence.

-K